Stumbling Block

Oh dear, how did I allow over a month to go by without writing in my blog. Sorry. I told you it was going to take some time to get back into the habit of writing in here again.

Actually what I have on my heart today may be part of the reason why I haven't written for a while. If you haven't followed my blog from the beginning and you didn't get a chance to check the title of the blog, you may not know that I struggle, I mean l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y STRUGGLE with contentment. This has been the biggest lesson in my life that God is trying to teach me. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever fully "get it" until the day that I meet my sweet Jesus face to face and I no longer have the desire or even the physical ability to look for contentment from others. I will be so swept away in the beauty and perfection of being with Jesus. whew... it gives me goose bumps.

So how does discontentment lead to me not blogging? Well, glad you asked. The last few weeks I have been so absorbed by social media. I've been Facebook'ing, Instagram'ing, Pinterest'ing, Internet Surfing, Blog Reading. I've been absorbed. Absorbed in what other people are doing. I've been struggling with finding a healthy balance between keeping in touch with people and becoming infatuated with other peoples lives to the point where I glorify them. I've thought about getting rid of all forms of social media, but whether I like it or not, this is the world that my daughter is going to grow up in. I feel like it's my job as a parent to stay on top of this technology so that #1 I can keep my daughter safe and #2 I can stay up to date for when Marlee starts using the internet.

I guess my struggle is that in my opinion, social media (Blogs, Facebook, Instagram) for some (including myself) has become our podium for pride.  Let me explain. In my Facebook, Instagram and Blog feed I have been constantly BOMBARDED by people who are showing how great their house is, how cute their kid is, how creative they are, how talented they are, how awesome their life is. So I struggle with where the line is between sharing your life with others and bragging about it. I am guilty of this as well. When I post pictures or comments I love getting the feedback of how cute Marlee is or how awesome my house looks or whatever the comment may be. This type of feedback and these types of posts is what has lead me to grow discontent with my life time after time.

I know the answer is that I need to seek Jesus and beg him to show me what He sees when He looks at me.  I need to ask him to let me catch a glimpse of the picture of His perfect daughter that He sees each time He looks at me. Instead of looking at the way that He created others, I first need to become content with myself. Once I'm at a place where I can be happy with the person He has created me to be, I can then look and be happy and thankful for others.

Thanks for letting me share my heart. :)