Rowan Ryan, you are so worth it

**I'm just going to warn you. It's 4am, so this post may be slightly more sarcastic than my usual.

Right now I am about chest eyeball deep in the baby do's and don'ts . For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about let me enlighten you. Or maybe there are some of you who are choosing to block this terrible confusing time period out of your life. If this is you, let me remind you. :)

The other day after I took Rowan to the doctor I was explaining to Eric how confusing doctors advice can be during the newborn years of a child's life. For example one piece of advice he so kindly gave.

My question: When do I need to give him more formula? (That's a good question, right?)
His response: Oh this is an easy one to answer. He'll let you know when he wants more. Insert my sleep deprived glare at the doctor and jaw dropping, "seriously, that didn't answer my question at all" look. Last time I checked Rowan doesn't talk, so how is he going to "let me know"? Oh you mean by his crying? Well, that's going to be a little difficult because little man cries about 18 out of 24 hours. Guess that means he's REALLY hungry.

Some of the other very helpful (not really) things I've read lately are all the differing opinions of techniques and theories on how to properly care for your newborn. Here are a few examples.

1. Don't let your baby cry. If you do, your child will possibly loose part of their brain development, have ADHD as a child and not bond with you. VS. Let your child cry. This will allow them to self soothe and be happier babies overall. You on the other hand may loose your mind from their crying, but at least they'll eventually be sleeping through the night.

2. Don't lay your baby on their stomach. This will cause them to suffocate and possibly die. VS. Babies should spend most of the day on their bellies. This is great for muscle development and the shaping of their head.

3. Don't swaddle your baby. They need space to  stretch out and use their muscles. How would you like to be confined 24 hours a day. VS. Make sure to swaddle your baby. They need a barrier that prevents them from shredding their face with their newborn razor sharp nails.

4. Don't overfeed your baby. VS. You can't overfeed the baby. Forget their GIANT stomach, they will let you know when they are done eating. Okay, I've mentioned this twice. Obviously, you can tell this is something I still just don't get.

5. Don't hold your baby for too long. This will cause your baby to become totally dependent on you and turn into the adult child. You know, the one who lives in their parents basement. VS. You can't hold your baby too much. This is how you bond with your child and they need to feel comforted by your touch. Forget the fact that you can't get anything done. So go ahead and clear your schedule for the next 3 years because you are considered BUSY.

So in all seriousness now some of the best advice that I got before we had Marlee came from my sweet college roommate, Annie. She said, "A lot of people are going to give you their opinions whether you want them or not. So, just take some and leave some. Your the mom and you know what's best for your baby and family".

Well, some how 1:30am turned into 4am, so like everyone says, I should probably go sleep while the baby sleeps. Or maybe not. Maybe I should stay awake when he sleeps so that I can watch his every move and start learning his sleep behaviors which will help me further on down the road. Grr... I think I'll sleep.

Rowan's Story Part 1

Most of you know that for the last 6 months Eric and I had been actively pursuing adoption through the foster care system. After inquiring about nearly 100 children (seriously, I have all the records) we started to get really weary. We knew this was a need and honestly our search criteria was pretty open as far as age, race, gender, sibling groups, medical, physical, developmental needs. Although we were open, we weren't getting ANYTHING. Occasionally a social worker would email us back saying we're sorry this child has already been placed or due to the age of the child in your home, we feel this would not be a good placement. We were just down right sad and extremely frustrated. 

On our way to Indiana for Thanksgiving we were praying asking God to show us which path we should take. With adoption, there are so many different avenues and unfortunately with all the paperwork you kind of have to pick which avenue and push forward in that specific direction. Since we didn't feel a specific call to a county we were pretty sure that Domestic Adoption was our path. We also, didn't necessarily want a baby and knew there was a need for older child/sibling group adoption, so that's how we came to our decision to adopt through the foster care system. With all the rejection we had received we started to wonder if we had picked the right avenue and even thought that maybe this was God's way of saying we shouldn't adopt again. 

A quick back story. In September while we were in the middle of all the rejection letters from social workers. We were both feeling pretty discouarged and so unsure what exactly God wanted us to do. One day as I was reading my devotions, I read "The Lord will FIGHT for you, you have only to be silent.". So of course me being the dense person that I can be at times didn't fully grasp this statement and I actively continued to seek out child after child after child, only to be rejected once again. If only I knew back than what I know now. God was literally wanting me to be silent, not just my voice but my actions. He was fighting on my behalf and on our sweet Rowan's behalf. He was orchestrating and interweaving the lives of two completely different famlies who would forever be connected by one sweet little boy. 

Well once we arrived in Indiana, the day before Thanksgiving to be exact, Eric and I ALMOST had our worlds rocked. We received a text from a sweet friend saying that a baby girl had been born the day before and they needed a family for her. Long story short, they ended up placing her with another family and although we were very disappointed the lawyer told us of another baby that was going to be born in January. She didn't know the gender, but knew that the baby was in desperate need of a family.

After not hearing from the lawyer for several weeks we decided to reach out to her and find out if this baby was still in need of a home. The lawyer told us she was still working with the Birth mom and would get back to us with more details. Once again we didn't hear anything for several more days, than on December 11th the lawyer called back saying she had been in contact with the birth mom and she was still wanting to move forward with the adoption. She told us that she needed a commitment THAT day whether or not we were wanting to move forward with this adoption. This also meant putting forth a large amount of money, knowing that if the mom changed her mind, it would be lost. Coincidentally, this was also the SAME day that Eric came home EXCLAIMING that he had gotten a promotion at work. Coincidence??? No way! 

So after lots of prayer on December 11th we agreed to move forward and committed our portion of money that was needed for the adoption.