Can I just be honest for a minute and say that most days I have to make a conscious effort to not allow myself to be bitter about our adoption. I have to check my attitude DAILY.. even multiple times a day. It's something I'm not proud of at all. I wish that I didn't let changes in plans disrupt my entire day, but I do. This is something that God and I are working on together. It seems like each day He has been slowly ripping a part each layer of pride, bitterness, anxiety, worry, fear and anger. The good thing is, when he rips away one layer he rebuilds that layer with something positive like humility, mercy, unconditional love, faith, blessings, and trust in the only one who won't disappoint!
I'm not sure if I'm the only one who feels like this, but often times I can fall into the poor me attitude and I am quickly slapped head on with someone who is WAY less fortunate than I am. I guess with being a social worker, this is part of the job. I often see people who literally have nothing and don't have ANY hope at all! What a blessing that I get to build a relationship with them and become a small pinch of hope.
I recently ran into a music artist through someone else's blog named Kari Jobe and have grown to LOVE her! I feel like she sings what my heart is dying to say. Here is one of her songs that I love!!
http://youtu.be/UbSMfL5LuSo
The first time I heard this song I just sat at my computer sobbing because I never really felt like God was for me. I guess when you face trials and temptations it's easy to forget that we face these challenges as a way to smooth us out and teach us something. I recently saw a movie that explained trials really well. This is the quote from the movie. I know this is specifically referring to people but I think it can still apply to just rough situation in life.
"When life makes you have to put up with mean and hateful people, just think of them as sandpaper. They may scratch you, rub you the wrong way, but eventually you end up smooth and polished and the sandpaper it's just going to be worn out and ugly."
On a totally different note, here is a great song that I heard in a movie recently. :) Make sure and watch the whole thing for a little bit of T-Bone!! :)
http://youtu.be/O_tRmVngrxM
Sorry for all the links!! I hope you all have a good Monday!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
man of god
I've been meaning to write this now for several weeks and just haven't had the opportunity to.
June 3rd was like most of our other Friday nights - Out to eat, movie or movies than bedtime. I know, I know.. we are so predictable. :) That night we headed to bed around 12am and did our devotions together and prayed. A little back story - for the past several weeks Eric and I have been praying every night that God would speak to us or reveal something positive to us regarding our adoption. As you know waiting can be discouraging and we had both been a little discouraged lately from not getting any updates or really hearing anything at all from our agency. So that night we specifically prayed that God would give us something encouraging that day so that we would know that He was still working in our situation. Around 12:30am we both dosed off and were quickly awoken by Eric's phone ringing. Now, most of our friends or family don't call us at that time unless something is wrong or they are playing a prank on us. Eric quickly jumped out of bed (well at least somewhat quick.. i don't really think you can be quick at 1:30am) and someone was calling from a private number. This surprised both of us because he has never received a call from a private number. So he answered the phone and here is how the conversation went:
Eric: Hello?? (really confused)
Private Caller: God is good! (male voice -strong, deep, peaceful voice)
Eric: What??? (at this point Eric was half way laughing)
Private Caller: God is good!
Eric: What? Who is this?? (Eric really thought it was one of our friends/family pranking us)
Private Caller: I am a man of God. God is good!
As you can imagine after he hung up Eric and I pretty much just sat there with our jaw on the ground, neither one of us laughing or saying a word. We were both wide awake at this point TOTALLY confused. The private called never called back. Remember, just one hour before Eric and I had prayed that God would give us a clear message that He was still working on our adoption.
The next day Eric and I both checked with several of our friends and family to find out if they had called us and no one said they had. Another strange thing was that the man's voice on the phone was so calm, deep and strong. He spoke very matter-of-fact and there was no background noise at all. His voice was so loud and clear that I could hear every word from the other side of the room.
I don't know who called that night, but I do know that Eric and I were blown away by God's love for us that He answered our prayer so quickly and so obviously (I'm starting to get a complex now because God has to be so obvious in the ways that He answers my prayers.. remember the billboard). :)
June 3rd was like most of our other Friday nights - Out to eat, movie or movies than bedtime. I know, I know.. we are so predictable. :) That night we headed to bed around 12am and did our devotions together and prayed. A little back story - for the past several weeks Eric and I have been praying every night that God would speak to us or reveal something positive to us regarding our adoption. As you know waiting can be discouraging and we had both been a little discouraged lately from not getting any updates or really hearing anything at all from our agency. So that night we specifically prayed that God would give us something encouraging that day so that we would know that He was still working in our situation. Around 12:30am we both dosed off and were quickly awoken by Eric's phone ringing. Now, most of our friends or family don't call us at that time unless something is wrong or they are playing a prank on us. Eric quickly jumped out of bed (well at least somewhat quick.. i don't really think you can be quick at 1:30am) and someone was calling from a private number. This surprised both of us because he has never received a call from a private number. So he answered the phone and here is how the conversation went:
Eric: Hello?? (really confused)Private Caller: God is good! (male voice -strong, deep, peaceful voice)
Eric: What??? (at this point Eric was half way laughing)
Private Caller: God is good!
Eric: What? Who is this?? (Eric really thought it was one of our friends/family pranking us)
Private Caller: I am a man of God. God is good!
As you can imagine after he hung up Eric and I pretty much just sat there with our jaw on the ground, neither one of us laughing or saying a word. We were both wide awake at this point TOTALLY confused. The private called never called back. Remember, just one hour before Eric and I had prayed that God would give us a clear message that He was still working on our adoption.
The next day Eric and I both checked with several of our friends and family to find out if they had called us and no one said they had. Another strange thing was that the man's voice on the phone was so calm, deep and strong. He spoke very matter-of-fact and there was no background noise at all. His voice was so loud and clear that I could hear every word from the other side of the room.
I don't know who called that night, but I do know that Eric and I were blown away by God's love for us that He answered our prayer so quickly and so obviously (I'm starting to get a complex now because God has to be so obvious in the ways that He answers my prayers.. remember the billboard). :)
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