Intentional community

One of the things, since becoming a mom that I really stink at is being intentional when it comes to community. It's so easy for me to spend the kids nap time blogging, reading, cleaning, cooking, watching television, surfing Facebook... so many things. Not that there is anything wrong with any of these things, however most of them I do alone. Also I should add the disclaimer that there is NOTHING wrong with needing alone, quiet time. Sometimes we fill our plates with so much that we neglect alone time and this can be just as much of a problem.

I've come to realize that God really desires for us to be in community with one another. Many amazing things happen through community. I made a list for myself of why I need community. Maybe this will encourage some of you to be more intention with making friendships.

1. I don't have to carry my burdens alone. When I am vulnerable with one others I lessen my burdens by sharing them with my dear friends who commit to praying for me.

2. I am able to see life's struggles through fresh eyes. Sometimes I tend to make things into a bigger deal than they actually are. When I can honestly share these things with a friend that person may see something that could be helpful that I may have overlooked or didn't think of.

3. We can inspire one another to love and good works. We all have that friend who inspires us to be a better person. With this type of person I usually walk away from my time with them wanting to do more.

4. They keep me humble. This one is the hardest for me. No one likes for other people to know that they aren't really the perfect person they portray themselves to be on their Facebook or Instagram. When I am in community, I open myself up to being vulnerable with my friends and allow myself to be seen for who I really am. Imperfect. This allows for me to receive support and feedback from those who desire for me to be the best person that I can be. It also allows for me to grow as a person and as someone who desires to be more like Jesus.

A verse I love that talks about community is Hebrews 10:24-25:

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another all the more as we see the day drawing nearer." 

Psalm 121:2

Yesterday I had one of those days when you start to wonder, "is this really my life". It started out with me having 30 mins to get two children dressed, fed and in the car for our 20 minute ride to the doctor. Than all craziness broke loose at the doctors office. I ended up holding Rowan in one arm trying to bounce him up and down so he would stop crying and Marlee in the other arm trying to calm her down. The poor doctor just kept right on beat despite my craziness and calmly and very quietly told me that Marlee had an ear infection and I needed to follow these specific steps. Unfortunately, all I heard was Marlee has an ear infection. Anything past that was all screams. I heard nothing else.

We finally made it out of the doctor office (room number 3, to be exact) and went back out to the waiting room. This is when Marlee decided that she needed to be comforted by a complete stranger. She decided to crawl up in this sweet lady's lap, meanwhile I had to pick my jaw up off the floor because my EXTREMELY shy girl was now cuddling with a COMPLETE stranger. After I apologized and told Marlee it was time to go, Marlee of course refused and I had to pry my screaming toddler from the strangers arm all the while Rowan is screaming his sweet little head off in his car seat.

Isn't it funny how God can so easily keep up humble through our children? The poor lady could see the exhaustion and frustration on my face and asked if I needed help, and me being me (stubborn and prideful), declined. So of course on the way out the door Marlee trips and starts the screaming all over again.

Maybe at this point you think I'm being a little dramatic and trying to make the story sound more interesting.. NO. I'm not.

The day continued on with a 20 minute car ride where Rowan screamed THE. ENTIRE. WAY. HOME!!!!! The poor man at Starbucks told me I needed 2 extra shots in my vanilla soy latte..probably because he could hear Rowan screaming in the background.

Needless to say, yesterday was probably one of the worst and hardest days I have had as a parent. The scary thing is, I know there will be more days like it.

To make the day worse, I also had to cancel plans with two good friends that I was looking forward to seeing.

As soon as Eric got home I literally met him at the door with the kids and locked myself in the room upstairs and bawled my little eyes out. It was funny because while I was crying i kept thinking "gosh, i just feel so unprepared and like I have no clue what I'm doing or how I'm going to muster up the courage to do it all over again tomorrow". I told you, kids are such a great way to keep up humble.

Well, I'm here to tell you I made it through. Here I am, almost 24 hours later and God has given me a new strength and the ability to face a new day. A couple weeks ago my friends wrote this verse down for me in my Bible Study and I have come to love it.

"No, my strength comes from God, who made heaven & earth & mountains." Psalm 121:2

I love it because it pretty much sums up how I am physically able to continue on. It's not because of my own strength or ability, it's because of God. Oh and I love the last part where they make sure that you remember that this is the same God who made the heaven, earth and mountains. So in case you may think, he's not qualified to provide that type of strength, think again. He made the heaven, earth and mountains, so I'm pretty sure He's got you covered! :) 

Generosity

Sorry I have been missing the last few weeks. Just to be honest, the blog is going to be taking the back burner for a little while so that I can be 100% present for Rowan and Marlee. Every once in a while I get lucky and their naps will coincide and normally that's my time to vent out all my ramblings. However, these past few weeks, nap time has turned into either me sitting on the couch staring at the wall wandering how such a tiny person can make such a HUGE impact or me sprinting around the house trying to finish different tasks before one of the kids makes a peep. Let's just be honest, the last few days it's been more of the first one.  :) Multiple kids is exhausting, ya'll. Phew...

I wanted to share one of the things that the Lord has been teaching me lately.  That is the lesson of generosity. Since we have been back from FL with Rowan I have literally had my calendar PACKED full with ladies who want to take time out of their busy schedules to bless us with food, gifts, or fellowship. I have literally been flabbergasted! At first I was like, aw.. this is nice that people are doing all this special stuff for us, but now going on week 3, ladies are STILL coming over to drop off food or just to stop in because they know that motherhood can be lonely. Ya'll this has totally been my "wow" moment. It's struck something deep within me bringing to the surface that I am just not that generous.

I have had so many friends get married, have babies, move to a new house, get a new job... tons of special celebrations and I celebrated with them, but mostly within my comfort zone. Meaning, if it was convenient and didn't hurt too much than I was good. I would stick within my comfortable amount for gifts, make sure that my time wasn't too effected and honestly, sometimes even overlook the person and their celebrations all together, claiming that I was too busy, didn't know them well enough or whatever other justification I could come up with. I have missed so many opportunities to bless others solely because of my selfishness.

I just wanted you all to know that if you have made us food, bought us food, bought us clothes, diapers, toys, blankets, wipes, or come over and hung out with us despite my two year old whining and my baby boy crying, I want to say thank you. Thank you for driving at rush hour 40 minutes from your house to come in and sit on my floor and talk about life. You have really touched my heart and been a part of God teaching me that I need to be more generous with my money, time, and talents. I'm so grateful that we get to do life together.